"You’re far too sensitive, you have to learn to shield yourself more"
"You shouldn’t take everything to heart"
"You really need to develop a thicker skin"
"Don’t get so worked up about it, just let it go"
When I was growing up I was picked on and bullied a lot in school. I often got told, by my parents and my teachers, that I was too sensitive. They told me: “ Don't take everything so seriously. You need to grow a thicker skin. Don't take everything so personally. You have to learn to let things go.”
In hearing those words I create this story that I am not good enough and that there is something wrong with me, that I am weird or strange. I decided to suppress my sensitivity and to survive through my powers of reasoning to prove that I am a normal person just like everybody else so that I could get their approval and their love. I forced myself to be big and strong and to show a brace face to the outside world and to do what was expected of me.
I am 32 years old and I am working as a project manager for this IT company. The company is struggling and as a result I am under a lot of pressure to make the project succeed. The customer is difficult, my boss is not giving me the support I need and I am responsible for my team and things are not running smoothly.
At the same time my boyfriend of 7 years ends our relationship totally unexpected. There were no warning signs, we did not even have a fight. One night after watching a movie he just stands up and tells me that he no longer wants to be with me and that I have to move out by the end of the week.
Consequently, I end up in a severe burnout and totally loose contact with myself. It feels like my reasoning and my feelings are no longer in touch and definitely not communicating with each other. Being able to think things through intellectually is no problem at all, but when it comes to my feelings, I just can’t keep up anymore.
I suddenly have all these emotions I don't know how to handle. I cannot stop crying and I am so so tired and all I can think is “Why is this happening to me, I work so hard and I am a good person?”
During this time my boss tells me that he thinks I am an HSP, because his wife is one and he recognizes a lot of her in me.
I did not know what he meant with “HSP” and I thought maybe he was calling me a name, because he was disappointed in me for failing and ending up in that burnout.
I thought “How am I ever going to get out of this burnout. How am I ever going to feel like myself again.” But also “What am I going to do with my life and who am I really?”.
But the term HSP stuck with me and one day I decide to google it. Boy did that open up a whole new world to me, I recognize so much!
Hungry I read every book I can find on High Sensitivity and I become a member of all the fora I can find about high sensitivity too.
I am not weird, I am not strange, there is nothing wrong with me and, most of all: there are other people like me!! It really felt like coming home to myself and the more I read, the more I understand myself and the more insight I get into my own user manual.
And while reading and learning, the process suddenly takes me back to my childhood and the things people told me. I now understand that they told me those things to help me, because they love me and want the best for me.
They care so much that they want to shield me form the pitfalls of being highly sensitive and they want to make life easier for me.
Little by little, bit by bit I start to allow my sensitivity back into my life.
And, finally, I feel whole again. My head and my heart have found each other again and I realize that it is OK to be me, sensitive weird unique alien and all.
Looking back I am glad I ended up in that burnout.
It forced me to take a good look at myself. It taught me to stay in touch with my own body more. To pay attention to the messages my body sends me AND to do something with them.
I know now that I can trust my body and my intuition, I know now how to protect myself and my energy and I know now how to feel my boundaries and how to guard them.
From that moment on, I embrace my unique alienness and honor my sensitive side because of the beautiful person they make me and the great things they brings me. I know that you too will appreciate these beautiful aspects of being highly sensitive: great compassion, deep intuition, authenticity, empathy and the ability to heal.
I now also know how to handle the 'Achilles heel of high sensitivity', such as being discouraged easily, taking things personal, being overwhelmed easily, having a hard time setting boundaries, feeling tired or tense.
The moment I take charge of my inner self, I realize that the only reason I have never accomplished what I wanted in life was because I never fully used my gifts and capacities. By not fully embracing my uniqueness and my sensitivity, I am actually sabotaging myself over and over again.
That realization, that was the moment I not only decide to embrace my unique alienness completely, but I also decide to start my own company! A dream I have for a very long time, but one I keep on postponing.
In hindsight, because I did not have enough confidence in myself. And because it is scary to step outside of your comfort-zone. And because it seems safe to keep working for a boss.
But I do not regret for even a moment having taken that step to start for myself. On the contrary, I am happier now than ever, feeling free now that I finally have my own company.
And this feeling of freedom, this is what I want for you too!
I won't lie to you. Having your own company is hard. There is a lot to take into account. Especially when you do everything by yourself, like me.
You need to learn a lot of skills. Not just in your area of expertise, but also about how to be a successful entrepreneur, how to do your marketing, do your bookkeeping and so on.
And we highly sensitive entrepreneurs also need to learn how to protect ourselves and our energy. Especially when we work with other people and are for instance a coach, therapist, teacher etc.
But especially as a sensitive entrepreneur we have and advantage on our non-sensitive colleagues in the same area of expertise. We have an iron clad intuition and we sense things very precisely. These are just a few examples of the advantages that being highly sensitive has to offer.
Other benefits of having your own company are: the freedom to set your own hours and work whenever you want, the freedom to work with whomever you want, the freedom to work wherever you want, the freedom to take on any project you want, the freedom to fit your company to your unique needs, the freedom to make so much money that you become financially free. The posibilities are endless.
This and much more is what I want to teach you:
There is a new intuitive, ambitious alien in the world today and it's you!
You are on a mission. You have a dream, a vision. You have an amazing gift to share with the world and because of it you can build a hugely successful business where you get paid to share your dream and message with millions.
You're making a massive impact on the world. You can change the lives of millions doing what you love. Have this beautiful lifestyle friendly business. This is for you.
You might be thinking, "Barbera, what are you talking about?"
I want to offer you a free Clarity session to get clear on what it is that you want most in life, what is holding you back and precisely which steps you need to take to get to where you want to be.
I found Barbera, because I could not feel if I had too much stress and which signals from my bodu alerted me to that fact. I wanted to gain insight into my limits, taxation and relaxation so that I would not get relapses with physical complaints because of not knowing that I had too much stress.
During my sessions with Barbera I learned a lot about my limits and taking the time and space to take really good care of myself.
Talking and walking together was a good combination for me. Thank you Barbera for your caring and expert help!
I started my sessions with Barbera because I wanted to find new balance in my life after 2 massive losses. I wanted to be stronger and stay connected to myself. I wanted to know what my limits are, how to protect my boundaries and now let my Aura rise (grounding). I also wanted to do something with my possible burnout and I wanted insight into how my being an HSP fit into all of this.
I am looking back at a great summer! It was really nice to unraffel my life during our walks in nature. Along the way we did helpfull exercises at beautifully choosen locations. Breathing in fresh forest air while talking things through and learning all about myself and my sensitivity was priceless! We even had time for lot's of laughs! Barbera to me is the example of being grounded and living your life to the fullest extend while being an HSP. Thank you Barbera for everything!
I found Barbera because my own therapist called me Highly Sensitive. I was doubting the fact that I am an HSP, but if I was one I wanted to do something with it. I wanted to have the tools that alllowed me to be myself again.
I experienced my sessions with Barbera to be really pleasant and helpfull. All that she told me gave me lot's to think about while at the same time explaining so much!
Barbera gave me the practical tools I needed to get and keep myself and my energy in balance no matter what. I also gained valuable insight into myself, my marriage and my youth. My sessions with Barbera have been invaluable to me!
I found Barbera because I wanted to experience more peace and quiet and have more energy. I also wanted to know what being an HSP meant for me and how being an HSP works. I also wanted to have more fun both in my life and my job. As a Highly Sensitive Entrepreneur a lot is being asked of me and there came a time I noticed feeling completely drained. I was so very tired, had trouble sleeping and a hard time keeping my focus.
Working with Barbera was valueable to me because she taught me a lot of techniques to protect myself and my energy, to recharge my battery when I needed to and to let go of negative emergies/emotions that I picked up during the day. Barbera's unique method is very effective and I recommend it and he to everybody! Thanks so much Barbera!
The Training Highly Sensitive Very Normal gave me the tools I needed to better listen to my body and to better take care of myself. The exercises helped me to get ot know myself and my body. I experimented with the different tools that are offered in the training and I make more time to eat healthy, exercise more and to express myself through creative outlets.
I had some trouble with the written assignments that asked me to put my thoughts onto paper. Eventhough I did not always manage to write something, it did help me to prganize my thoughts and to be more aware of them. Barbera was an excellent coach and she helped me tremendously. A very valuable training that I would recomment to every HSP out there!
My energy and balance where far from ok. I often felt very tired. After following the online program High Sensitive Very Normal that became much better! I understand now that some things are part of being different and I now embrace that!
The acceptence of my uniqueness gives me peace. That combined with the coaching, eventhough it was online, really helped me to take the necessary steps. I highly recommend this program to anyone wanting to find out all about their sensitivity!
In a "dark" period of my life and after some searching online I found Barbera's website. The desribed experiences on there and the knowledge she shares, inspired me to call her immediately. Right from the start I have experienced Barbera as a warm, professional and loving person.
The sessions with Barbera helped me to get a grip on my life and gave me valuable insight into handling overstimmulation and all the sensory input from my environment. The sessions helped me to be more at peace with myself and to find balance in both my personal and my professional life.
Barbera is one of the people who helped me to seethat being Highly Sensitive really means and what influence it can have on your daily life.
I am very grateful to her for all the insights she has given me and will continue to give me in the future. Instead of feeling like there was "something wrong with me", she helped give that something a name and a meaning. Thank you for that Barbera!
I am so glad I met Barbera! I am learning so much from her about myself, my burnout, my energy and how to protect myself better. Thank you for helping me with my burnout, I really enjoyed our walks in nature together. With you, people have come to the right place!
You take your time for your clients and that made me feel cherished and understood. I wish you the best in your work and that you may, as you always say it, help lots and lots of people!
I came into contact with Barbera because I was struggling with my burnout, while also discovering that I am Highly Sensitive. I googled those 2 words for someone to help me and found Barbera. Her photo appealed to me and gave me confidence as did her personal story and her personal experiences. I was looking for someone to give me the tools I needed to handle myself and my emotions and to teach me how to get out of my burnout.
Our sessions gave me valuable insight into myself and gave my life a new direction. Especially the concept of turning things around. How would I look at another in the same position? This helped to see myself in a softer light and to be kinder to myself. Thank You Barbera!
I really liked the course. I learned a lot from the tips, tools and information but also from the other people following it. I learned a lot from their experiences and inisghts and I thought that was really valuable.
What I want to say is that you are a wonderful person and I immediatley felt at home with you!
When I came to Barbera I wanted to give up my life. It had no meaning anymore for me and just felt like a constant struggle. Thanks to Barbera I learned to relax and to take better care of myself. It was hard, but it was good!
Slowly but surely I feel like myself again. My energy is back up and I have the tools I need to prevent a relapse. I found my sessions with Barbera to be very valuable, her intuition spot on and her warmth and compassion like a nurturing blanket. I highly recommend her to anyone who has lost touch with themselves and/or wants to find their true self!
I want to start my own coach practise soon. I know that I am Highly sensitive and that I can easily become overwhelmed. Before I start working as a coach I want to learn to better protect myself from the energy of others. I found Barbera throught the internet and her website immediately spoke to me.
Since she herself is also Highly Sensitive, she knows what she is talking about and that I think is very important. We did our sessions while walking in the woods and she handed me lots of practical tools and tips and now I am able to protect myself an my energy. I do the exercises everyday and they have helped me tremendously. I can now start my carreer confidently. Thank you Barbera!
The online program really is an enrichment of my knowledge about myself and my high sensitivity. I am getting to know myself a bit better every day and I now understand a lot more about myself. The exercises really helped too. I now ground myself dauly, but it also helps me to precess stuff and to let stuff go.
I get valuable new insights into myself and in the way I react to certain things, people or circumstances. So thank you Barbera for your awesome programs that I have recommended to all my friends!
I can help you establish a good foundation for you and your company in a down to earth, no nonsense way so that you can use your gifts, talents & capacities as your strengths, your super powers, both in business and in your personal life.
I can teach you how you can balance your energy throughout the day, so that at the end of the day you do not end up drained on the couch, but still have energy for other (nicer?) things. Daily flow and how to turn your stress into momentum are a part of that
I help you to get to know your own unique user manual so that you can make strategic use of your pitfalls and your strengths for more happiness and success in your life and your company. Plus all the tools you need to keep yourself in balance no matter what.
I can help you to reconnect with your true self by asking the right questions and getting rid of blocks. This will allow you to regain your balance. When we are connected to our true, authentic self, our energy flows. I will help you to bring out your true potential, so that you can transfrom into the wonderful person that you truly are deep inside.
I can help you to step into the person that you came here to be in full authenticity. To embrace your weirdness and your uniqueness. When you surrender to how your life has changed, you can align your life to that way of being. I will help you bring all the parts of your life into alignment so that they are congruent with who you truly are can become unstuck.
I can help you find your passion, that thing that makes your heart sing, that you can talk about for hours and hours. I will help you discover what gives you that pure, thrilling sense of liberation — is focusing attention, work, and energy on what you're passionate about. When you persue your passion, that's when true freedom is achieved.
I also help you to get clear on your BIG dream, connected with your passion and your purpose, so you can formulate goals that help you achieve your dream and to cut them into smaller goals and create a step-by-step action plan to achieve your heart's desire with a structured work method, intuitive planning and laser focus.
By learning how to embrace your unique aliennness and turning your story into a client magnet, you will attract the right clients to you effortlessly because they connect with your authentic self. This feels good and powerful and allows you to only work with the customers who give you energy while increasing your profits and business results.
I help you to have conversations based on a deeper connection, without folowing a set script and losing yourself in the process, and to turn your services into a product so that you can take your company to the next level and make is scalable in a way that really suits you and feels almost effortless (and certainly not salesy).
I can help you discover your soul purpose, your mission here on earth. When you know your soul’s purpose, you’re content with your life. When your life theme is right for you, you feel a sense of flow, as if you’re headed in the correct direction. I will help you discover the best way for you to share those gifts, talents and capacities with the world.
I can help you ty your gifts and talents with your soul purpose. Every individual has gifts and talents that can make a lasting impact. Tying your gifts and talents with your soul purpose not only leads to a more successful career or business, but a significant one. I will help you to utilize those gifts and talents, so you can live up to your full potential.
I can help you turn your calling into your soulful business, so you can create that life for yourself that makes your heart sing. I will give you you the self confidence, strategies and spiritual tools you need to live your soul purpose, create your soulful business, make a positive change doing what you love and earn great money loving what you do.
The result is that you have accepted and embraced the things that make you unique so you can live your life to the fullest and be fully connected to yourself, your feelings, your intuition and your other gifts, talents & capacities in the here and now.
You will have discovered your souls purpose so you can turn your calling into your soulful, profitable business and have a lifestyle friendly business that enables you to do what you love and love what you are doing.
You will have peace of mind and know how to bring focus and structure to your company, so that you can realize your dreams with more energy and pleasure then you could have ever imagined. You will have gained unshakable self-confidence and a newfound passion for life. You will also experience (financial) freedom as well as the freedom to be yourself while feeling empowered and in control.
And to achieve this result, I have developed the unique HSP (Highly Successful Power) method. This method consists of a combination of transforming sessions, ontrack calls and unique tools, with which fantastic results can be achieved in just 3 months of 1 on 1 coaching!
Or you can register for my group coaching program, teaching you how to Live a Life You Love and discover the incredible energy and collective wisdom of being coached in a group that will result in exponential progress and momentum in your business and in your life.
Or you can register for one of my amazing online programs, combining an incredible online learning experience with lot's of tool, tips, new insights and both group and 1 on 1 coaching for optimal results for those ambitious aliens out there that are ready to take their future in their own hands and finally create a life that makes their heart sing.
Here is a selection of the results from my customers:
"As a result of the trajectory with you, I am now much more in contact with myself and therefore the relationship with my family has improved enormously. I feel more relaxed and much more connected to myself and that is so very nice ”
“I now see things in perspective and I feel much more relaxed and happy now. I enjoy the little things in life more and I also have more eye for those little things. ”
“I now have better conversations, because I can now prepare them (energetically) much better and this means that I achieve better results with much less effort. I am now able to disconnect my self-esteem from my performance and that gives me peace of mind. ”
“I can now let go of control over things that cannot be controlled. Also my emotions no longer influence my behavior. This gives me the opportunity to view my company more from a distance so that I can better determine the right actions and no longer get so emotionally involved. "
"Everything is no longer coming in so hard anymore and I am now much better able to separate things and take things so personally anymore."
“I no longer take all responsibility on my own shoulders anymore. I can put things in perspective and let go much better and this brings me peace of mind and the feeling that I am and can finally be myself. ”
“I now think a lot more in logical scenarios and that makes the problem feel less mine. This makes me worry a lot less and that gives me peace of mind. "
“Because I can now choose whether or not to get emotionally involved in certain events, I have become the boss of my emotions and my consciousness. This makes me feel powerful and free. "
I hope I have inspired you to want to know more about what I do and if I can help you. If so, you can
book a free Clarity Call with me so we can get to know eachother and see if we are a good fit.
I would love to meet you soon!